PUB REVIEW: The Lass O’ Richmond Hill, Richmond Park

I’ve tried to get in to this cavernous pub beside the grandest of the Royal Parks a few times now but because it’s beside the grandest of the Royal Parks it’s always RAMMED. All these no-booking policies these days have dulled my senses - I must have forgotten it is actually still possible to book a table in London in 2012. 

However I thought ahead this time and on a wet Saturday afternoon we arrived (with 2 kids in tow) and were shown to a particularly lovely table in the rear dining area. It’s a classy joint - wood panelling, nice carpets, a real cosy feel. Far posher than your average Young’s pub. It’s what you’d call ‘kid friendly’ - but that doesn’t mean the little blighters run the place, it just means they are respectfully catered for. 

We ordered drinks and tap water (they had Twickenham Brewery Naked Ladies on - an excellent hoppy brew in great nick). I think the waiter may have had a heavy night the evening before as he missed everyone’s glass leaving us with a bit of a soggy table. Other than that, service was friendly and efficient. 

Now, the Lass really bigs up its beef. The menu proclaims that they dry-age their meat on the premises, the meat comes from Macken Brothers butchers down the road in Chiswick and they’ve apparently won Great Britain’s Best Steak Pub 2011 from some nameless organisation. It better be good with such big talk…

Fortunately I was impressed. I went for ribeye and it was very good. Nice smokey char and undeniably good quality meat. They lose a point for overcooking it a bit though (I asked for medium rare and got medium. Why do so many places screw this up?) Chips were decent enough, blue cheese salad was delicious but the warm peppercorn sauce was great. It was more like a fine, rich pepper gravy. I downed the rest like a shot at the end. Don’t judge me, I’m Northern. 

Unfortunately they messed up one of my dining companions battered cod; it was completely overcooked and very dry. Boo. 

This considered I would recommend the Lass O’ Richmond hill. It’s in a top location, (you can be in Richmond Park in 2 mins), it’s a nice place to spend a few hours and they know how to cook a decent steak. OK, they ain’t going to be worrying the Hawksmoor anytime soon but they can cook up some good quality meat. It’s not cheap for a pub but the quality is there (and what do you expect in this location? Every third car is a Porsche). It’s a shame about the inconstancies in the kitchen but I’ve come to expect this from pub dining in this country unfortunately. Don’t try the fish. As Weezer said in the iconic  ‘Buddy Holly’ video, the fish is ‘not so good, Al’. 

6.5/10

The Lass O’ Richmond Hill
8 Queens Rd
Richmond
TW10 6JJ

020 8940 1306

http://www.lassorichmondhill.co.uk/

MBFBY? - The first year

A year ago today I thought ‘hey, doing a food blog sounds like a good way to get free stuff, plus I’d get to whinge about stuff. I’ll give it a go’. 

Well, I’m still here 12 months later and it’s turned into a thoroughly enjoyable endeavour. The free stuff thing didn’t really pan out. Here’s the entire list of freebies MBFBY? received in 2011:

- a bottle of wine from Barefoot which I haven’t tried yet

- some wraps at Moolis 

- some beers at various places

erm, that’s it. I’m not going to retire on this blog unfortunately.  

Over the year I’ve had some amazing meals, some rubbish pub roasts, met some great people and gained a proper insight into the London restaurant scene.  I’m constantly blown away by the progressive, confident ideas which breed in this fair city. Each month brings a raft of new openings, despite the toughest economic conditions in living memory. Maybe this partly accounts for the amount of successful new restaurants - you have to be good to survive. Plus, there’s legions of bloggers and tweeters watching your every move. You fuck up and a thousand people know within minutes. It’s never been more possible to have a good meal for a fair price in London. Bravo. 

Regular readers will notice I don’t have too many negative reviews - this is testament to the quality of places out there at the moment and most of my reviews are from nights out with my wife; we check out places we’ve heard are good, we’re paying the bill and we want to have a nice time. I can’t give you an ingredient-by-ingredient analysis of a deconstructed trifle but I can hopefully tell you if a restaurant experience is any good or not. I want to share good places with people, that’s why I started writing this blog in the first place. Fortunately we’ve not really had any horror shows (apart from Cây Fucking Tre), though I’m sure we’re due one soon.

Right, enough navel-gazing. In true MBFBY? style, weeks late, here’s my end-of year round-up:

Best meal: Dinner by Heston Blumenthal

Predictable - yes. But it’s freaking awesome. Spectacular, witty and worth the money. MEAT FRUIT! 

Most visited restaurant: MEATLiquor

Again, pretty predictable but I love love love this place. They do the best burgers I’ve ever had. Fact. Not over-thought monstrosities, sloppy meaty delights in the near-darkness to a rocking soundtrack. Last time I was in they played War Pigs, for fucks sake. 

Best pub: The Palm Tree

I go to a lot of pubs. As yet, none can beat the mighty Palm Tree. Archaic, surreal and brimming with soul. 

Album of the year: ‘Color Trip’ - Ringo Deathstarr

Great name, great band. An updated My Bloody Valentine with catchier tunes. 

There you have it. Thanks for the support over the last year. I’ve had lots of very nice comments (not much hate mail unfortunately) and my readership is creeping up steadily. I’d like to think my spelling is improving too, but I’m probably wrong. 

Here’s to another year. Hope I don’t get gout! 

Cây Tre, Old St, EC1

Serves me right. I should never have ventured into the bleak wastelands of Shoreditch on a Saturday night. 10 years ago you could have called it exciting round here, now it’s all lads-on-tour, shouting, breaking glass. Come back hipsters, all is forgiven. Plus there’s STILL no cash machines that don’t charge £1.75 for the privilege of access to your own money. 

Anyway, a good friend’s birthday necessitated a vist here and we’d booked in at Cây Tre to meet some friends for a meal and a chat before the party. I’d heard lots of good reports, some not-so-good, certainly enough to warrant checking it out. 

Unfortunately I can’t tell you about the food as Cây Tre had no record of the reservation I made over the phone. We arrived, our friends arrived, they kept us hanging round awkwardly for 5 minutes whist they talked amongst themselves then told us no, we can’t have a table. A half-apology was mumbled and we left. I got the impression they didn’t believe me when I said I phoned up the day before. Well, Cây Tre, here’s a record of the phone call:

I can handle below-par food. I can handle aloof service. I can even handle strip lighting, blood-stained menus and toilets out of Trainspotting. I can’t handle planning an evening in a busy part of town around a meal with friends and not being able to guarantee that the restaurant will actually honour the reservation you’ve made. 

So, if you definitely want a nice meal with friends on a Saturday night in Shoreditch then don’t bother with Cây Tre. The one thing you have to get right as a restaurant is to honour someone’s booking, and they didn’t. Not only that, they didn’t give a fig about making it right. As a punter it’s embarrassing, annoying and just downright inconvenient. 

Anyway, we went next door to Busaba instead where we had a decent meal with professional and courteous service. Shame on you Cây Tre.

0/10

Cây Tre
301 Old St
London
EC1V 9LA

020 7729 8662 (though they won’t actually write your reservation down in the book)

http://www.vietnamesekitchen.co.uk/caytre/

Google Map

Smoak, Malmaison Hotel, Piccadilly, Manchester

A brief review to see in the first month of the year. Going to do a navel-gazing ‘1 year of MBFBY?’ post next month, and there’s a reviewing vist of Young Turks at the Ten Bells in the pipeline. I might even review Pitt Cue Co using only haikus if I can actually get a table. In the meantime another visit to Manc and another restaurant checked out…

Smoak. SUCH a Manchester name. ‘One word, spelt wrong’ is the motto of Manchester’s hospitality industry when it comes to naming venues. Nonetheless, I’d been hearing good things so in need of a quick lunch I popped to Smoak on a windy Sunday afternoon before getting the late afternoon train back to the actual Smoke. 

It’s certainly a ‘concept’. The huge interior is tastefully decorated in unfinished wood and faux vintage which you can see being easy to roll out across the Malmaison chain. The theme is AMERICAN MEAT. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly nice place with some nice touches but it still feels like a hotel restaurant (which it is, to be fair).

It was very quiet on our visit (2pm on a Sunday in January so not a surprise). They could maybe lose the SCREAMIN’ USA COUNTRY ROCK. How about some light banjo instead?

Staff were attentive helpful and efficient, though there were only about 3 other customers so it wasn’t exactly challenging conditions. 

Onto the food - I had a couple of oysters to start. They were lovely - fresh, huge and looking very appealing served in a metal dish of ice with shallot vinegar and bottle of Tabasco alongside. 

The main event involved a full rack of ribs. Again, this was attractively presented, the ribs removed from the rack and piled in a metal bucket, the sides in mini copper pans. clichéd? Yes. I like clichés sometimes. Extra points for having hot water in the finger bowl.

The ribs were delicious. I liked the fact that the weren’t served on the rack. Less hassle. They were very tender and moist, falling off the bone, glazed with filthy, spicey BBQ sauce. A bit of coleslaw on the side and some yoghurst finished it off nicely. The parmesan chips were excellent too, crispy, skin-on with a home-cooked flavour. 

RE: The chips - they have 5 different types of chips. ‘Classic’, ‘Garlic’, ‘Parmesan’, ‘Paprika’ and ‘Chilli’. My dad, (who I was dining with) couldn’t get his head around this. 

“There’s too much choice, son! Parmesan? Chips? They must be out of their minds.”

I’m inclined to agree with him here, it just adds an extra layer of choice on an already long-winded menu. Everything we ordered necessitated a question back to us from the waitress. At least it’s authentically American I suppose. When I was in the States a few weeks ago you couldn’t order anything without having to answer a stream of questions.

“And what would you like on that, sir? Bacon? Steak? Pancakes? Turkey wings? And would you like the whole lot deep fried? Sides? We got hash browns, corn bread, fat fries, fatter fries, fattest fries, onion rings, chilli bowl, 10 pieces of fried chicken?

JUST GIMMIE THE BLOODY BURGER, ALRIGHT?

Anyway, the cooking at Smoak is top notch, and the ingredients are superb quality. It’s a great place for lunch/brunch and it’s within eyeshot of Piccadilly station. Prices are good. The menu needs some pruning and the atmosphere is a little sterile, but overall I’d say it’s a good addition to Manchester’s somewhat underwhelming dining scene. 

7/10

Smoak
Malmaison Hotel
Manchester
M1 1LZ

0161 278 100

http://www.smoak-grill.com/

Google Map

MIshkin’s 25 Catherine St, Covent Garden WC2

I wasn’t sure about Mishkin’s when I first heard what Polpo impresario Russell Norman was planning for his fifth opening. “A kind of Jewish deli with cocktails” said the Twitter account. My reservations were increased further when I found out it wasn’t going to be kosher, and they would be serving a pork hot dog. A pork hot dog in a Jewish-influenced deli? Is this not akin to opening a Vatican-themed restaurant and putting on a live protected sex show? Well, no it isn’t but it made me think blimey, is he going to get it wrong this time? Is it going to be like a theme restaurant? Are the staff going to be forced to dress as rabbis? 

Now, in what could be seen as a new ‘pro’ direction for MBFBY?, I visited Mishkin’s twice before writing this review. Not because of my dedication to objective reviewing, mainly because as a frequent user of Waterloo station, Mishkin’s is ridiculously handy, located on Catherine St, just over Waterloo Bridge. Also I was too lazy to get my opening week review online straightaway. Ah well, who gives a jot about frantically scrambling to get your review online before everyone else? It’s certainly a fairer indication of the quality of an establishment to visit after the opening fuss has died down. Not that this was my intention. 

Marking a sea change in the usual Russell Norman formula of NO BOOKINGS and MASSIVE QUEUES you can actually reserve a table at Mishkin’s, just like a normal restaurant. That’s the only radical difference though, the rest of the trademarks are there, the tattooed hipster staff, the cool music, the faux-vintage interior.  Not that I have a problem with any of this stuff, quite the opposite. The interior here is warmer than any of the other joints, very much based on a New York diner. There’s nothing overtly ‘Jewish themed’ about it. And the staff aren’t dressed as rabbis. In fact, they seem to have based their look on ‘Leisure’-era Blur, despite the fact that none of them were alive when that album was released.  I don’t know, the kids these days, eh? Bowl cuts aside, I found the staff to be friendly and efficient (consistent with Norman’s other establishments. Where does he find them?) ProTip: If you sit at table 1 (which we did both times) you get to watch the hilarious spectacle of the staff ducking under the gap in the bar (the hinged bar is never open, making me wonder if Mr. Norman has specified it remain closed to promote Buster Keaton-style slapstick hilarity to entertain the punters). 

The place was bustling on both visits, nicely full, soul music playing on the stereo, cocktails being mixed behind the zinc-topped bar. Now, the cocktails are really quite something. Inventive, and well priced (around the 6.50 mark). Over the course of the visits I had a Gin Rickey (taut, strong) and a Diamond Fizz (kind of like a more sophisticated Mojito, attractively served in a mini pewter tankard). Mrs MBFBY loved her Negroni. At these prices you could sit there working your way through the list all day until they threw you out for shouting and still have change from 80 quid. 

On to the scran. First up we have a steamed burger. This was a brilliant start – the bun and patty seemingly fused together by the steaming process giving a delicious, airy texture. Nice classic ‘meaty’ taste too, a little like the taste of bone marrow. Nice pile of gherkin slices on the side. My only complaint is that they should offer a full size version (this one is more like a slider). When you go, order this for sure. 

Next up we have matzo ball soup. This is serious comfort food, a light chicken broth with a great big suet-y dumpling in it. The broth was very good, if a little unmemorable. To be fair, a dish like this isn’t about blowing your taste buds apart, it delivers because it’s warming, tasty and has a great big suet-y dumpling in it. Perfect for a cold December day. 

The tantalisingly named cod cheek popcorn was the dish I was most looking forward to, sadly it was underwhelming. It’s chunks of cod cheek in a light batter. Nothing wrong with the texture or cooking, it was just a bit, well, bland. It would benefit hugely from a sauce of some kind; the obvious choice would be something like sweet chili (maybe too far away from the remit of Mishkin’s?)

We had to try the blasphemous hot dog, especially as I’ve tried (and loved) the work of the supplier - Big Apple Hot Dogs of Old St - earlier in the year. It didn’t disappoint. It’s massive, the sausage is unrivalled in quality and the ‘dragged through the garden’ garnish was fresh and zingy. On the side we had ‘half and half’ home cooked chips (skin on, very tasty) and onion rings (light and reasonably sized, not stupid massive ones like you get in bloody ‘Gourmet’ Burger Kitchen). 

The other dish that had been hyped-up-to-buggery was the Ruben sandwich, and I’m pleased to report that this didn’t disappoint either. I was really quite hung over when I had this and it sorted me right out. Pastrami, sauerkraut and melted cheese on toast. That’s it, and it’s as good as it sounds (and a very generous portion. A classic toasted sandwich. 

Dessert-wise I had Bananas Foster which despite looking a bit like bangers and mash was actually a very sweet concoction of warm banana, ice cream and caramel. It’s not for the faint hearted though, luckily it ran out before it could get sickly.

Now, one thing that really lets the side down at Mishkin’s is the beer. You’ve got 2 choices – Red Stripe or London Pride. In CANS. I’m sorry but this just isn’t on. It’s not bloody Brixton Academy. Plus, at 5 quid each (FIVE QUID!), that’s actually more expensive than Brixton Academy. Overpriced canned beer has no place in an establishment like this. I suspect this is purely an aesthetic decision by the proprietor. Come on, Mr. Norman, cans of Red Stripe with my delicious Ruben sandwich? No thanks. 

Gripes aside I enjoyed Mishkin’s, and due to its informal nature, reasonably priced comfort food and handy location (for me, anyway) I’ll be visiting often. The interior is lovely, and they even have a sink that looks like some kind of bulbous-nosed 50s robot (see above). However there are a few dishes that need work and the TINS of CRAPPY RED STRIPE situation needs sorting desperately. That considered I’d rate Mishkin’s…

…7/10

E Mishkin
25 Catherine St
London
WC2H 9JG

020 7240 2078

http://mishkins.co.uk/

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The Hawksmoor, Seven Dials, WC2

Vegetarians look away now. There’s nothing for you here. The Hawksmoor is a temple of beef and no mistake. Since the first one opened in 2006 (Spitalfields), they’ve become known as the top steakhouse in the capital. I dined there a couple of years ago and the steak was excellent, but the experience slightly sullied by sloppy service and clientele comprised almost exclusively of male City types working their way through expense accounts whilst shouting rude words at each other. However, the Seven Dials outpost has received such unanimously amazing reviews it’s been on my to-do list pretty much since it opened last year. In need of somewhere special to take Mrs MBFBY? for her birthday this year we elected to give it a go. 

DISCLAIMER -Yes, I know they’ve just opened a brand new Hawksmoor at Guildhall but this is MBFBY?, yah? If you’re looking for zeitgeist then bugger off over there somewhere with those vegetarians.  

We arrive, our bags/coats are taken swiftly and we are directed downstairs. It’s a beautiful space - initially feeling very gentlemanly. Reclaimed parquet flooring, brass fittings, wood panelling. There’s a modern twist though, a few industrial ducts and lights, exposed brickwork. Also, most of the staff have dreadlocks and tattoos. Sweet. We arrived early as we wanted to try some cocktails (Hawksmoor’s bar has achieved almost as much renown as it’s meat room). The list is impressive, we sit there for a good ten minutes reading it, there’s a great blurb about each drink explaining the background, the history and even the name of the Hawkmoor mixologist responsible for creating their version.

I go for a Rub A Dub Shrub first which is refreshing combination of wine, cognac, citrus, spice, gin and lemon juice. It’s got a sweet, slightly medicinal taste and is just what you want to prepare your stomach for the onslaught of meat. It is, however, orange and rather girly looking. 

Keen to prove my man credentials I ask the barman to recommend me something to put hairs on my chest. He suggests, amongst other things, the brilliantly named Navy Strength Gimlet. I say yes please. He gives me an approving smile and says “NICE”. The Gimlet is basically 57% Navy-strength gin and a home made lime cordial. That’s it. It’s bloody fantastic and not as harsh as you’d think. I could drink it all night. Well, maybe 2, then onto shandy.

Before we know it, it’s time to take our table in the fabulous vaulted brick dining room (the site used to be a brewery, apparently). The place is buzzing with a healthy mix of people. In fact, I didn’t notice any all-male tables of lairy suits going on about TARGETS and FIGURES and THAT F*CKING PETE FROM ACQUISITIONS at ear-splitting volume (no offence, Pete from Acquisitions).

To start, I pushed the boat out (HA HA HAAA!) and went for a lobster cocktail. It was basically a really good prawn cocktail but with massive chunks of lobster meat instead of prawns. At MBFBY? towers we’re quite the connoisseurs of seafood-based cocktails, and this one certainly passed muster. Crisp lettuce, a light sauce and loads lovely white meat. 

As you may have gathered by now, it’s all about the beef here. It’s a matter of choosing what cut of steak you want. There’s ribeyes, sirloins, d-rump etc but the exciting stuff is the porterhouse, prime rib and chateaubriand which is sold by the 100g (the minimum they had on our visit was 800g). They have a blackboard with the steaks in stock that day which get crossed off as they get sold - we go for a 900g porterhouse, béarnaise sauce, chips and 2 fried eggs on the side. No time for greens here. 

It was magnificent. A huge t-bone with the larger, rarer sirloin on the right and the smaller, more tender fillet on the left. We asked for it to be cut off the bone, but they left plenty of fleshy goodness for me to gnaw straight off the bone like a wild animal. Perfectly cooked, amazing flavour, a hint of béarnaise sauce on the side. I don’t think I’ve had a better steak, certainly not in this country (closed contender would be Peter Luger in New York. Writing this is making me want to be back there, right now. 

This perfect steak was accompanied by 2 fried eggs on the advice of my good friend Jonty and this proved to be an absolute winning ProTip™. The texture and flavour of the eggs with the meat was astonding. I don’t know their methods but I suspect the eggs are fried in beef dripping. So damn tasty. 

Which brings me on to the chips. These are definitely cooked in beef dripping (you can get triple-cooked instead/as well) , and they are stupidly tasty. Thin, crispy coating with light-as-a-feather, creamy insides. I had a bit of a ‘food-critic-at-the-end-of-Ratatoullie moment with these chips. It took my back to an unspecified meal at Smithill’s Hall, Bolton, probably around 1986. Such is the power of beef dripping. 

As I mentioned earlier it was Mrs MBFBY?’s birthday. When I booked I asked them for a candle with dessert. I wanted to check if the message had gotten through so I grabbed a member of staff and not only had it gotten through, they knew where we were sitting and what my wife looked like. After our table had been cleared a few minutes went by then a massive sticky toffee pudding was brought over with not only a candle in it but the words ‘happy birthday’ iced onto the plate. Not only that but they left it off the bill too! Amazing. 

I’ll take this moment to state that from arriving to leaving the service at Hawksmoor Seven Dials was amongst the best I’ve had anywhere. Every member of staff we encountered was friendly, funny, knowledgeable and generally making sure everyone was having a good time. Bravo to you all! 

Now the bad news - Hawksmoor ain’t cheap. Our bill came to £145 including service. This doesn’t sound too bad but remember we only had one starter, dessert was free and we only paid £10 for corkage of 2 bottles of wine (on Monday’s they do a wine club night where you can BYO for £5 corkage per bottle - very reasonable indeed). Our steak alone was nearly 70 quid. 

That said, you get what you pay for and more. This is the best steakhouse in the UK. We had one of the most memorable meals in recent years, everything exceeded expectations, the building is amazing, the staff are awesome, I can’t fault it on any level. And for that reason…

10/10

The Hawksmoor Seven Dials
11 Langley St
London
WC2H 9JG

020 7816 2154

http://thehawksmoor.com/

Google Map

José, Bermondsey St, London SE1

After managing to review somewhere that hadn’t even opened yet last time, normal service has been resumed here at MBFBY? towers. Here’s another review of somewhere everyone else wrote about 6 months ago. 

It’s a sunny, autumnal Saturday morning in SE1. We decide to go for an amble round the foodie enclave of Maltby St (home of the excellent Kernel Brewery), then go for a spot of lunch on the ornamental dog enclave of Bermondsey St, like a pair of massive middle-class foodie stereotypes. 

You’re spoiled for choice on Bermondsey St. You’ve got Zucca, Village East and The Garrison to name but a few. We were heading for tiny tapas bar José, set up earlier this year by ex-Brindisa chef José Pizarro. Now, it really is tiny. This is the third time we’ve attempted to get food there. Fortunately as we got there literally just after they’d opened at 11.55am, we managed to bag a couple of stools by the window overlooking the ornamental dog grooming salon across the road (i’m not joking). By 12.05pm the place was rammed and there was a queue of well-heeled couples snaking out of the door, miniature daschunds in tow.

It’s a lovely little spot, on a corner, on a very nice street. No tables, just stools, and an open kitchen. Friendly and welcoming staff were managing to successfully balance the jobs of getting food out and finding places for people to perch. A bottle of complementary sparkling water and a wee jar of spicy nibbles are brought over as soon as we’ve sat down. Ace. 

We studied the menu. Lots of familiar sounding tapas. Nothing wrong with that. We made our selection and the waitress took our order. A few minutes later I looked over my shoulder and noticed a specials board behind the bar full of really exciting sounding dishes. D’oh! I suppose I could blame the waitress as it was obvious we’d not seen it from our entirely menu-based order, but the board was quite big and obvious. I snoozed, I losed. 

First up was the delicious tomato bread. The huge amount of tomato topping was fresh & zingy, brought to life with a touch of garlic. The bread was similar to ciabatta but far lighter and very crispy. Yes, a simple dish but it was perfectly done. 

Next up were smoked beef croquettes. As you’d expect from a master of modern Spanish tapas, these were AMAZING. Great crispy coating, creamy strong cheese and chunks of tender, smokey beef. Why do they give you 5 though? They always give you odd numbers of morsels in tapas joints, where there are quite often 2 peoplel sharing every dish. WHY?!??! Beats me. 

The obligatory salad was also a highlight. Nothing fancy, just a well chosen, well prepared combination of quality ingredients in a light dressing. Pear, walnut, leaves and blue cheese. Delicious. 

Now, even though this looks amazing it was a bit of a flop. Deep-fried hake with aioli. The aioli wasn’t really that garlicky, the batter wasn’t really that crispy, the fish didn’t really taste of anything and was a little undercooked. Never mind, eh? 

Finally we had the pork meatballs. These were GREAT. I love a pork meatball, me. I think I may even prefer pork meatballs over beef. Served in a rich tomato sauce with some lightly fried bread this was a classic comfort-food tapas dish executed perfectly. 

We had to dash on this occasion so we skipped dessert and coffee, but overall I thought José was excellent. I’d love to go back and work my way through the more exciting dishes on that specials board I’d missed but for 40 quid we had a top-notch lunch with a couple of glasses of excellent tempranillo and only one of the dishes was a bit duff. It’s very similar to what you’d get in a very good tapas bar in Barcelona. The service was brisk but friendly and effective, and the tiny room has a good neighbourhood-type buzz. Plus you get to laugh at pugs wearing top hats cantering past outside. Bonus. Excitingly, José Pizarro is opening up a proper sit-down restaurant just down the road very soon so if you wait 6 months after all the hype has died down I might just get round to reviewing that, too. 

8/10

José
104 Bermondsey St
London
SE 3UB

http://joserestaurant.co.uk/

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MeatLiquor, 74 Wellbeck St, London W1

You are going to get SICK of hearing about MeatLiquor. This post will be a drop in the ocean on Food Blog World™ , where a tidal wave of hype is brewing. It’s going to hang around the top 10 on UrbanSpoon for months. I mean, it’s not even supposed to be open yet (official date is 11.11.11 - ‘course it is) and there’s already like a million blog posts about it or something. But open, it is. As soon as I found out I got down there as quickly I could, as is my duty to YOU, dear reader. 

For those who don’t exclusively follow food-related accounts on Twitter, MeatLiquor is the spawn of the Meatwagon, a converted U.S ambulance which has been supplying the finest burgers in London to hungry pub-goers over the last few years. At the start of the year they opened up Meateasy, a pop-up burger bar temporarily located above a pub in New Cross. The hype grew. Now they’ve opened up a proper, 90 cover restaurant in the West End. It’s a very good business model for these austere times - build up your customer base and develop your products with the relatively low-risk burger van venture, court the bloggers, engage the customer base on Twitter, open a pop-up to iron out the creases, disappear for a bit, take up a residency in a pub in Peckham for dress rehearsal then BANG - out of nowhere open a fully functioning  rock n’ roll burger bar behind Debenhams in the West End. 

Anyway, on to the restaurant. It’s dark. It’s in a galleried space which used to be an Italian restaurant. The walls and ceilings are covered in scratchy, splattered graffiti and paste-ups of animal heads (in my other guise I’m motion designer and animator and one of the studios whose work I particularly admire are ilovedust, for it was they who did all the illustration). Loud rock n’ roll blares out through the darkness. On my visit they played Brakes, The Stooges and Black Sabbath amongst other things. I can safely say I’ve never been to a restaurant where they’ve played War Pigs at full volume. It reminds me a little of White Trash Fast Food in Berlin (home of Fuck You fries). 

All this darkness, loud metal and graffiti-covered walls means MeatLiquor ain’t for everyone. Some people will hate it.  Some people will think it’s trying too hard to be cool. Fair enough. They’re not trying to please everyone. For me though, there’s nothing else like this place in London. It’s a proper rock and roll burger bar. Personally I love burgers and if I can listen to Black Sabbath whilst eating one - bonus.

Now, the food - they have 6 burgers and a variety of other dishes (Philly cheesesteak, hot dogs, chicken and even *gasp* some salads). We got a little overexcited and ordered LOADS, and as it’s simple food I won’t over-analyse the dishes. Plus, it’s so dark in there I can barely read the menu, let alone take decent pictures so here’s a breakdown:

- Buffalo Wings: Really good. 5 quid. You get LOADS. Maybe they should also do a starter-size portion too for 3 quid though, as you really do get a lot. Fantastic blue cheese dressing. Basically pure blue cheese.

- Deep Fried Pickles: Deep fried pickles! Genius. 

- Slaw: Great slaw. Better than Leon.

- Dead Hippie burger: HELL YEAH. This is basically a Big Mac made with really high-quality ingredients. 2 thick, rare burger patties, Big Mac sauce, lettuce, cheese and a brioche bun. Perfect. And another thing - the burgers aren’t stupidly massive. They’re just right. Whoever decreed that modern burgers must be at least 12” tall and piled with crap wants shooting. 

- Fries: These were OK, not bad, not amazing. My advice: steal the Draft House’s recipe. Their fries are amazing. 

- Dessert: we had a lovely pecan pie with EXCELLENT pastry. 

- Drinks: I had a Meantime pale ale in a frozen glass (it made the foam on the beer freeze), we had a top notch bottle of Malbec for 15 quid and they have a MASSIVE cocktail list of inventive booze. I had a Full English martini (garnished with a scotched quail’s egg). It was potent. 

So there you have it. It’s loud, dark, brash and the burgers are epic. They put kitchen rolls on the table to mop up the mess from your filthy hands and face. They’ve kept it simple. A perfect antidote to the too-tall, over-thought poncey burgers that permeate pubs and restaurants these days. Those wonderful burgers are backed up by a delicious array of interesting diner-style treats, and the price is right too. Plus, at 90 covers it’s big enough for the no-booking policy not to be a massive pain in the arse. If you walk up, you’ll probably be OK.

You wouldn’t take your mother-in-law there and some of your friends will definitely hate it. However if you want a stupidly good burger made with top-notch ingredients with a cocktail served in a jam jar, and you want to consume these goodies in a fun environment whilst rocking the fuck out to Sabbath then get yourself down to MeatLiquor, stat. 

9/10

MeatLiquor
74 Wellbeck St
London
W1G 0BA

http://meatliquor.com/

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