Vegetarians look away now. There’s nothing for you here. The Hawksmoor is a temple of beef and no mistake. Since the first one opened in 2006 (Spitalfields), they’ve become known as the top steakhouse in the capital. I dined there a couple of years ago and the steak was excellent, but the experience slightly sullied by sloppy service and clientele comprised almost exclusively of male City types working their way through expense accounts whilst shouting rude words at each other. However, the Seven Dials outpost has received such unanimously amazing reviews it’s been on my to-do list pretty much since it opened last year. In need of somewhere special to take Mrs MBFBY? for her birthday this year we elected to give it a go.
DISCLAIMER -Yes, I know they’ve just opened a brand new Hawksmoor at Guildhall but this is MBFBY?, yah? If you’re looking for zeitgeist then bugger off over there somewhere with those vegetarians.

We arrive, our bags/coats are taken swiftly and we are directed downstairs. It’s a beautiful space - initially feeling very gentlemanly. Reclaimed parquet flooring, brass fittings, wood panelling. There’s a modern twist though, a few industrial ducts and lights, exposed brickwork. Also, most of the staff have dreadlocks and tattoos. Sweet. We arrived early as we wanted to try some cocktails (Hawksmoor’s bar has achieved almost as much renown as it’s meat room). The list is impressive, we sit there for a good ten minutes reading it, there’s a great blurb about each drink explaining the background, the history and even the name of the Hawkmoor mixologist responsible for creating their version.

I go for a Rub A Dub Shrub first which is refreshing combination of wine, cognac, citrus, spice, gin and lemon juice. It’s got a sweet, slightly medicinal taste and is just what you want to prepare your stomach for the onslaught of meat. It is, however, orange and rather girly looking.

Keen to prove my man credentials I ask the barman to recommend me something to put hairs on my chest. He suggests, amongst other things, the brilliantly named Navy Strength Gimlet. I say yes please. He gives me an approving smile and says “NICE”. The Gimlet is basically 57% Navy-strength gin and a home made lime cordial. That’s it. It’s bloody fantastic and not as harsh as you’d think. I could drink it all night. Well, maybe 2, then onto shandy.
Before we know it, it’s time to take our table in the fabulous vaulted brick dining room (the site used to be a brewery, apparently). The place is buzzing with a healthy mix of people. In fact, I didn’t notice any all-male tables of lairy suits going on about TARGETS and FIGURES and THAT F*CKING PETE FROM ACQUISITIONS at ear-splitting volume (no offence, Pete from Acquisitions).

To start, I pushed the boat out (HA HA HAAA!) and went for a lobster cocktail. It was basically a really good prawn cocktail but with massive chunks of lobster meat instead of prawns. At MBFBY? towers we’re quite the connoisseurs of seafood-based cocktails, and this one certainly passed muster. Crisp lettuce, a light sauce and loads lovely white meat.

As you may have gathered by now, it’s all about the beef here. It’s a matter of choosing what cut of steak you want. There’s ribeyes, sirloins, d-rump etc but the exciting stuff is the porterhouse, prime rib and chateaubriand which is sold by the 100g (the minimum they had on our visit was 800g). They have a blackboard with the steaks in stock that day which get crossed off as they get sold - we go for a 900g porterhouse, béarnaise sauce, chips and 2 fried eggs on the side. No time for greens here.

It was magnificent. A huge t-bone with the larger, rarer sirloin on the right and the smaller, more tender fillet on the left. We asked for it to be cut off the bone, but they left plenty of fleshy goodness for me to gnaw straight off the bone like a wild animal. Perfectly cooked, amazing flavour, a hint of béarnaise sauce on the side. I don’t think I’ve had a better steak, certainly not in this country (closed contender would be Peter Luger in New York. Writing this is making me want to be back there, right now.

This perfect steak was accompanied by 2 fried eggs on the advice of my good friend Jonty and this proved to be an absolute winning ProTip™. The texture and flavour of the eggs with the meat was astonding. I don’t know their methods but I suspect the eggs are fried in beef dripping. So damn tasty.

Which brings me on to the chips. These are definitely cooked in beef dripping (you can get triple-cooked instead/as well) , and they are stupidly tasty. Thin, crispy coating with light-as-a-feather, creamy insides. I had a bit of a ‘food-critic-at-the-end-of-Ratatoullie moment with these chips. It took my back to an unspecified meal at Smithill’s Hall, Bolton, probably around 1986. Such is the power of beef dripping.

As I mentioned earlier it was Mrs MBFBY?’s birthday. When I booked I asked them for a candle with dessert. I wanted to check if the message had gotten through so I grabbed a member of staff and not only had it gotten through, they knew where we were sitting and what my wife looked like. After our table had been cleared a few minutes went by then a massive sticky toffee pudding was brought over with not only a candle in it but the words ‘happy birthday’ iced onto the plate. Not only that but they left it off the bill too! Amazing.
I’ll take this moment to state that from arriving to leaving the service at Hawksmoor Seven Dials was amongst the best I’ve had anywhere. Every member of staff we encountered was friendly, funny, knowledgeable and generally making sure everyone was having a good time. Bravo to you all!

Now the bad news - Hawksmoor ain’t cheap. Our bill came to £145 including service. This doesn’t sound too bad but remember we only had one starter, dessert was free and we only paid £10 for corkage of 2 bottles of wine (on Monday’s they do a wine club night where you can BYO for £5 corkage per bottle - very reasonable indeed). Our steak alone was nearly 70 quid.
That said, you get what you pay for and more. This is the best steakhouse in the UK. We had one of the most memorable meals in recent years, everything exceeded expectations, the building is amazing, the staff are awesome, I can’t fault it on any level. And for that reason…
10/10
The Hawksmoor Seven Dials
11 Langley St
London
WC2H 9JG
020 7816 2154
http://thehawksmoor.com/
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