Goodman, Maddox St, London

“Heifer whines could be human cries, closer comes the screaming knife, this beautiful creature must die, this beautiful creature must die”, sang Morrissey in the mid-80s. Unfortunately Mozza wasn’t demanding the beautiful creature be slaughtered to make quality dry-aged steaks, he was making a passionate plea to the trenchcoat-wearing hoards of 1985 to reject the carnivorous ways that are the norm in this country, as it’s murder, no, no, no it’s murder. 

Thankfully few people listened to the be-quiffed one and in London these days you can enjoy some of the finest quality steak in the world from numerous purveyors of high-end beef. The ‘big two’ are the amazing Hawksmoor and today’s review, Goodman. They are both talked about in the same breath, they are both similarly priced and they both have legions of fans convinced one is better than the other. I thought it was only fair to you, dear reader, that I find out for myself if Goodman could out-steak Hawksmoor (no mean feat considering I gave Hawksmoor a perfect 10/10). It’s a tough task but professionalism comes first on this blog. 

First impressions - the room was buzzing (it was Friday night after all) and it’s a rather pleasant space. It’s more of a traditional room than Hawksmoor’s vintage industrial vibe, and the feel is ‘upmarket’ rather than ‘trendy’. We had a kind of booth. Everyone likes a booth. 

Unfortunately for us on our visit we had to endure the frequent London phenomenon of a large group of loud, lairy pissed-up City bankers. SWEARING and GOING ON ABOUT MASSIVE DEALS, YAH? Thankfully they buggered off before the mains came. Most upmarket restaurant suffer from the expense account brigade’s ill behaviour from time to time but the problem is particularly bad in posh steakhouses, purely because steak is BIG and MACHO and is for REAL MEN with LOTS OF MONEY. 

Anyway, onto the food. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Not to listen to my grumpy ranting. Keen to find out about Goodman’s Russian angle (they are Russian-owned), I chose the sweet pickled herring to start. Served, ‘Russian style’ in a Kilner jar with mustard and some sort of delicious rye bread. It was fantastic. Juicy, thick slices of herring with a touch of mustard, a gherkin and a wee bit of bread make for a very tasty (and oddly refreshing) mouthful of food. The combined sweet/vinegar flavours are a great palette cleanser ahead of all that meat. 

The main event is obviously STEAK, and lots of it. There were 4 of us so we got 2 900g Porterhouses, cooked medium-rare. I think the photos speak for themselves here - this was a VERY good steak indeed. It was cooked perfectly medium-rare and the char was spot-on. My favourite bit was the fat which had developed an amazing rich smokey flavour.

Just look at the colour of it! Better than Hawksmoor? Well, it’s a bit different. I’d say they are as good as each other, in their own special way. Unfortunately Mrs MBFBY? said that the other steak had been cooked to medium rather than med-rare so wasn’t quite as juicy as my one, though she still enjoyed it immensely. 

Obviously it’s not a trip to the steakhouse unless you cover your table in sides so we went for truffle chips (brilliant - cooked in truffle oil), normal chips (brilliant - not cooked in truffle oil) green beans (brilliant - but what else can you say about competently cooked green beans?)  and carrots (lovely honey and ginger glaze). No marks lost for the sides. 

The staff were friendly, helpfully knowledgeable and efficient. Our waitress took a lot of time to make sure we were all happy and everything was fully explained to us. 

So, food-and-service-wise, it’s very hard to say Goodman beats Hawksmoor. They are both serving steak to an absurdly high standard. I do have to dock them a point for overcooking Mrs MBFBY?’s porterhouse a tad, though. 

They also lose a point for the annoyance of having a TV film crew walking around getting in the way, at one point the cameraman set up a light which was shining into my mum’s face and I had to go an tell them to turn it off. Though to be fair I emailed them afterwards about this and received a prompt apology so top marks for customer service. 

When it comes down to it though, I have to say I personally prefer Hawksmoor. I love Hawksmoor’s aesthetic, I love their cocktails and I love their hipster staff. This has nothing to do with the food, Goodman is a fine establishment, but one with a more traditional feel. If you want to savour the flavour of murder properly then I urge you to try both. Don’t listen to Morrissey. The flesh they so fancifully fry IS succulent, tasty AND kind. Well, kind on the taste-buds at least. It’s not kind to the cow, or to your wallet.

8/10

Goodman
24-26 Maddox St
London
W1S 1QH

020 7499 3776

http://www.goodmanrestaurants.com/

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The Hawksmoor, Seven Dials, WC2

Vegetarians look away now. There’s nothing for you here. The Hawksmoor is a temple of beef and no mistake. Since the first one opened in 2006 (Spitalfields), they’ve become known as the top steakhouse in the capital. I dined there a couple of years ago and the steak was excellent, but the experience slightly sullied by sloppy service and clientele comprised almost exclusively of male City types working their way through expense accounts whilst shouting rude words at each other. However, the Seven Dials outpost has received such unanimously amazing reviews it’s been on my to-do list pretty much since it opened last year. In need of somewhere special to take Mrs MBFBY? for her birthday this year we elected to give it a go. 

DISCLAIMER -Yes, I know they’ve just opened a brand new Hawksmoor at Guildhall but this is MBFBY?, yah? If you’re looking for zeitgeist then bugger off over there somewhere with those vegetarians.  

We arrive, our bags/coats are taken swiftly and we are directed downstairs. It’s a beautiful space - initially feeling very gentlemanly. Reclaimed parquet flooring, brass fittings, wood panelling. There’s a modern twist though, a few industrial ducts and lights, exposed brickwork. Also, most of the staff have dreadlocks and tattoos. Sweet. We arrived early as we wanted to try some cocktails (Hawksmoor’s bar has achieved almost as much renown as it’s meat room). The list is impressive, we sit there for a good ten minutes reading it, there’s a great blurb about each drink explaining the background, the history and even the name of the Hawkmoor mixologist responsible for creating their version.

I go for a Rub A Dub Shrub first which is refreshing combination of wine, cognac, citrus, spice, gin and lemon juice. It’s got a sweet, slightly medicinal taste and is just what you want to prepare your stomach for the onslaught of meat. It is, however, orange and rather girly looking. 

Keen to prove my man credentials I ask the barman to recommend me something to put hairs on my chest. He suggests, amongst other things, the brilliantly named Navy Strength Gimlet. I say yes please. He gives me an approving smile and says “NICE”. The Gimlet is basically 57% Navy-strength gin and a home made lime cordial. That’s it. It’s bloody fantastic and not as harsh as you’d think. I could drink it all night. Well, maybe 2, then onto shandy.

Before we know it, it’s time to take our table in the fabulous vaulted brick dining room (the site used to be a brewery, apparently). The place is buzzing with a healthy mix of people. In fact, I didn’t notice any all-male tables of lairy suits going on about TARGETS and FIGURES and THAT F*CKING PETE FROM ACQUISITIONS at ear-splitting volume (no offence, Pete from Acquisitions).

To start, I pushed the boat out (HA HA HAAA!) and went for a lobster cocktail. It was basically a really good prawn cocktail but with massive chunks of lobster meat instead of prawns. At MBFBY? towers we’re quite the connoisseurs of seafood-based cocktails, and this one certainly passed muster. Crisp lettuce, a light sauce and loads lovely white meat. 

As you may have gathered by now, it’s all about the beef here. It’s a matter of choosing what cut of steak you want. There’s ribeyes, sirloins, d-rump etc but the exciting stuff is the porterhouse, prime rib and chateaubriand which is sold by the 100g (the minimum they had on our visit was 800g). They have a blackboard with the steaks in stock that day which get crossed off as they get sold - we go for a 900g porterhouse, béarnaise sauce, chips and 2 fried eggs on the side. No time for greens here. 

It was magnificent. A huge t-bone with the larger, rarer sirloin on the right and the smaller, more tender fillet on the left. We asked for it to be cut off the bone, but they left plenty of fleshy goodness for me to gnaw straight off the bone like a wild animal. Perfectly cooked, amazing flavour, a hint of béarnaise sauce on the side. I don’t think I’ve had a better steak, certainly not in this country (closed contender would be Peter Luger in New York. Writing this is making me want to be back there, right now. 

This perfect steak was accompanied by 2 fried eggs on the advice of my good friend Jonty and this proved to be an absolute winning ProTip™. The texture and flavour of the eggs with the meat was astonding. I don’t know their methods but I suspect the eggs are fried in beef dripping. So damn tasty. 

Which brings me on to the chips. These are definitely cooked in beef dripping (you can get triple-cooked instead/as well) , and they are stupidly tasty. Thin, crispy coating with light-as-a-feather, creamy insides. I had a bit of a ‘food-critic-at-the-end-of-Ratatoullie moment with these chips. It took my back to an unspecified meal at Smithill’s Hall, Bolton, probably around 1986. Such is the power of beef dripping. 

As I mentioned earlier it was Mrs MBFBY?’s birthday. When I booked I asked them for a candle with dessert. I wanted to check if the message had gotten through so I grabbed a member of staff and not only had it gotten through, they knew where we were sitting and what my wife looked like. After our table had been cleared a few minutes went by then a massive sticky toffee pudding was brought over with not only a candle in it but the words ‘happy birthday’ iced onto the plate. Not only that but they left it off the bill too! Amazing. 

I’ll take this moment to state that from arriving to leaving the service at Hawksmoor Seven Dials was amongst the best I’ve had anywhere. Every member of staff we encountered was friendly, funny, knowledgeable and generally making sure everyone was having a good time. Bravo to you all! 

Now the bad news - Hawksmoor ain’t cheap. Our bill came to £145 including service. This doesn’t sound too bad but remember we only had one starter, dessert was free and we only paid £10 for corkage of 2 bottles of wine (on Monday’s they do a wine club night where you can BYO for £5 corkage per bottle - very reasonable indeed). Our steak alone was nearly 70 quid. 

That said, you get what you pay for and more. This is the best steakhouse in the UK. We had one of the most memorable meals in recent years, everything exceeded expectations, the building is amazing, the staff are awesome, I can’t fault it on any level. And for that reason…

10/10

The Hawksmoor Seven Dials
11 Langley St
London
WC2H 9JG

020 7816 2154

http://thehawksmoor.com/

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MeatLiquor, 74 Wellbeck St, London W1

You are going to get SICK of hearing about MeatLiquor. This post will be a drop in the ocean on Food Blog World™ , where a tidal wave of hype is brewing. It’s going to hang around the top 10 on UrbanSpoon for months. I mean, it’s not even supposed to be open yet (official date is 11.11.11 - ‘course it is) and there’s already like a million blog posts about it or something. But open, it is. As soon as I found out I got down there as quickly I could, as is my duty to YOU, dear reader. 

For those who don’t exclusively follow food-related accounts on Twitter, MeatLiquor is the spawn of the Meatwagon, a converted U.S ambulance which has been supplying the finest burgers in London to hungry pub-goers over the last few years. At the start of the year they opened up Meateasy, a pop-up burger bar temporarily located above a pub in New Cross. The hype grew. Now they’ve opened up a proper, 90 cover restaurant in the West End. It’s a very good business model for these austere times - build up your customer base and develop your products with the relatively low-risk burger van venture, court the bloggers, engage the customer base on Twitter, open a pop-up to iron out the creases, disappear for a bit, take up a residency in a pub in Peckham for dress rehearsal then BANG - out of nowhere open a fully functioning  rock n’ roll burger bar behind Debenhams in the West End. 

Anyway, on to the restaurant. It’s dark. It’s in a galleried space which used to be an Italian restaurant. The walls and ceilings are covered in scratchy, splattered graffiti and paste-ups of animal heads (in my other guise I’m motion designer and animator and one of the studios whose work I particularly admire are ilovedust, for it was they who did all the illustration). Loud rock n’ roll blares out through the darkness. On my visit they played Brakes, The Stooges and Black Sabbath amongst other things. I can safely say I’ve never been to a restaurant where they’ve played War Pigs at full volume. It reminds me a little of White Trash Fast Food in Berlin (home of Fuck You fries). 

All this darkness, loud metal and graffiti-covered walls means MeatLiquor ain’t for everyone. Some people will hate it.  Some people will think it’s trying too hard to be cool. Fair enough. They’re not trying to please everyone. For me though, there’s nothing else like this place in London. It’s a proper rock and roll burger bar. Personally I love burgers and if I can listen to Black Sabbath whilst eating one - bonus.

Now, the food - they have 6 burgers and a variety of other dishes (Philly cheesesteak, hot dogs, chicken and even *gasp* some salads). We got a little overexcited and ordered LOADS, and as it’s simple food I won’t over-analyse the dishes. Plus, it’s so dark in there I can barely read the menu, let alone take decent pictures so here’s a breakdown:

- Buffalo Wings: Really good. 5 quid. You get LOADS. Maybe they should also do a starter-size portion too for 3 quid though, as you really do get a lot. Fantastic blue cheese dressing. Basically pure blue cheese.

- Deep Fried Pickles: Deep fried pickles! Genius. 

- Slaw: Great slaw. Better than Leon.

- Dead Hippie burger: HELL YEAH. This is basically a Big Mac made with really high-quality ingredients. 2 thick, rare burger patties, Big Mac sauce, lettuce, cheese and a brioche bun. Perfect. And another thing - the burgers aren’t stupidly massive. They’re just right. Whoever decreed that modern burgers must be at least 12” tall and piled with crap wants shooting. 

- Fries: These were OK, not bad, not amazing. My advice: steal the Draft House’s recipe. Their fries are amazing. 

- Dessert: we had a lovely pecan pie with EXCELLENT pastry. 

- Drinks: I had a Meantime pale ale in a frozen glass (it made the foam on the beer freeze), we had a top notch bottle of Malbec for 15 quid and they have a MASSIVE cocktail list of inventive booze. I had a Full English martini (garnished with a scotched quail’s egg). It was potent. 

So there you have it. It’s loud, dark, brash and the burgers are epic. They put kitchen rolls on the table to mop up the mess from your filthy hands and face. They’ve kept it simple. A perfect antidote to the too-tall, over-thought poncey burgers that permeate pubs and restaurants these days. Those wonderful burgers are backed up by a delicious array of interesting diner-style treats, and the price is right too. Plus, at 90 covers it’s big enough for the no-booking policy not to be a massive pain in the arse. If you walk up, you’ll probably be OK.

You wouldn’t take your mother-in-law there and some of your friends will definitely hate it. However if you want a stupidly good burger made with top-notch ingredients with a cocktail served in a jam jar, and you want to consume these goodies in a fun environment whilst rocking the fuck out to Sabbath then get yourself down to MeatLiquor, stat. 

9/10

MeatLiquor
74 Wellbeck St
London
W1G 0BA

http://meatliquor.com/

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PUB REVIEW - The Dean Swift, Butler’s Wharf, London SE1

It’s been a tumultuous couple of months in MBFBY? world. An insane work schedule (unbelievably, writing this blog doesn’t quite pay the bills so I design and animate motion graphics ‘on the side’), a bunch of weekend commitments and major renovation work taking place at MBFBY? towers has left precious little time for the blog. I can only apologise to all 15 of you. Anyhoo, this time is almost at an end so here’s a wee pub review to ease myself back into it. 

As I mentioned above we are having MAJOR building work done on our suburban home at the moment. We thought we could stick it out but after less that a week we had no hot water, our stuff boxed away in storage and a house full of dust, scaffolding and navvies. We now don’t even have an oven (to be fair the oven door was held on by gaffer tape but is still worked, dammit). 

ANYWAY - the upside to this is that we were offered the use of a flat in SE1 so that’s where MBFBY? is living at the moment. It’s a lovely area, a mix of heavy tourist traffic by the river but plenty of quiet little cobbled streets and alleys when you head south, changing into full-on inner-city sprawl when you reach the Old Kent Rd. There are plenty of places to eat - lots of chains (there’s a Zizzi, a Pizza Express AND an Ask Pizza within 50m of each other. WHY?) , the Conran empire at Butler’s Wharf (unfortunately plagued by inconstant service and quality these days) and a scattering of pubs. 

There are a few gems round here for sure though. I spent more time and money than I care to think about in the Draft House this weekend but wasn’t in blogging mode so you’ll have to wait for a proper review. It is a cracking little boozer though with great food to match and a ridiculous selection of brews. 

However yesterday I was in blogging mode and thought I’d try out our new temporary local, the Dean Swift. This pub used to be a fairly generic sports lager-type pub (97% blokes, smelled funny, massive TVs) but inevitably has been given the modern posh-pub makeover. It’s a rather lovely job actually, understated, airy, lots of natural light and some original features such as the Victorian fireplace. It was important to get this right as the Dean Swift is rather tiny, and they’ve succeeded in creating an environment with a naturally pleasant atmosphere and plenty of places to sit, but it doesn’t feel too overcrowded. During our visit we enjoyed the easy-going, friendly vibe. The clientele seemed to be locals, the odd tourist and a scattering of students from the LSE halls next door. There’s still a telly for sport but it’s as unobtrusively located high up, and it’s not 70 inches and you don’t need 5D glasses or anything. So far, so good. And free wifi too. 

Like the Draft House, the emphasis here is on beer. They have a substantial beer list with plenty of Belgie, US and British brews to try. They’ve got 3 ales on rotation and lots of lagers on draft. My pint of Gorilla was perfectly kept. They’re one of the few places to have a BrewDog pump on the bar, too. Got to love BrewDog. If you are looking for a cheap pint then go elsewhere but it’s hardly surprising that the prices are high, it’s an upscale pub in an affluent area with a large selection of rare beers. 

We decided to have the Sunday roast as I’d been told is was good. It certainly looked the part. Unfortunately despite asking for the beef medium rare we were give overcooked, dry, chewy meat, the gravy was bland and the potatoes seemed like they’ve been sitting around for a while Boo. 12 quid, too. I should have sent it back really but:

a: the staff were really nice 

b: I’m English

The one saving grace was the Yorkshire pud. It was glorious. Crisp on the outside, gooey on the inside and it was massive. I can’t say I’m surprised the roast was a disappointment, 9 out of 10 pub roasts are. Just step away from the microwave, pub chefs. Please. No bloody wonder visitors to these fair isles still think the English can’t cook, despite the fact that the UK is home to some of the world’s best restaurants. 

We spent pretty much all day in the Dean Swift as we haven’t got wifi in the flat yet and needed to do a load of ‘errands’ online so after letting the roast go down we ordered the cheeseboard. Now this was a great success. A bit pricey at 10 quid but you got a load of quality cheese, including the frankly awesome Comté, a lovely chilli jam and assorted pickles. The thing that really blew me away here was that they actually gave us enough crackers for the cheese. Pretty much every time I have a cheeseboard they NEVER give you enough crackers. Come on. The crackers are the least expensive component. Give us more, you bloody tight-arses! I’m a simple man, I don’t ask for much. Give me enough crackers with my cheeseboard and I’m happy. 

I think the Dean Swift will have to be awarded 2 separate scores, one for the food and one for the pub. The staff deserve a shout-out here, too. Everyone was helpful, friendly and attentive without being overbearing.  It’s a cracking boozer in which it’s great to spend a relaxed afternoon supping some tasty beer from around the world. Unfortunately the roast was pretty bog standard and the meat was a travesty (especially for the price) but the cheeseboard was awesome. But still, it’s hard to screw up a cheeseboard, unless you don’t give me enough crackers of course. 

Pub experience 8/10

Food experience 5/10

The Dean Swift
10 Gainsford St
London
SE1 2NE
020 7357  0748

http://thedeanswift.com/

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PUB REVIEW - The Palm Tree, Mile End, London

To walk to the Palm Tree is rather lucid experience. The East End streets suddenly end. You are by a deserted canal, totally covered in bright green algae. Across a stretch of grass is a lone pub. It looks like it was once part of a larger street but is now the only remaining building. The windows are dark but the door it open…

The Palm Tree was my local many years ago when I lived in a house-share in Bow. Every Sunday we’d get down there after lunch, grab our usual table by the door and drink as much of whatever guest ale they had on that week as we possibly could. Then, around 8pm, the band would strike up (there’s a piano and a jazz drum kit permanently set up in the corner) and all the local old dears would take a turn on the mic, singing trad jazz classics. It would get rowdier and rowdier until the landlord turfed everyone out well past closing time and off we’d stumble into the night, dreading the dark Monday morning that inevitably follows such excess on the sabbath.

Walking through the door on this wet Sunday (in the area as we were on our way to the Apple Cart festival in Victoria Park) I was incredibly pleased to see that nothing has changed. At all.  There isn’t another pub interior like the Palm Tree. Gold leaf wallpaper, wood-panelled central bar, the aforementioned jazz setup, thick burgundy velvet curtains, chunky 50s furniture, photos of jazz musicians above the bar and a few twee nick-nacks on display. All original. The till is ancient, there’s free Ritz biscuits, cheese and seafood in bowls on the bar and the old husband and wife team who run it are still there, and still up for some banter. There’s two bars at the Palm Tree and it’s so unmolested that you have to go outside to go between them. One is a sports bart and the other is the lounge bar. You want the lounge bar. 

I remarked to Mrs MBFBY? that a wave of serenity swept over me as I sat down with my (perfectly kept) pint of Brewster’s Roll In The Hay and gazed across the bustling room. No piped music, just conversation. No braying hipsters, no aggressive drunks, no strange smells, no moody bar staff, no self-conciously cool crap on the walls, no sausage and mash in a ‘jus’, just a calming feeling of being at one with the pub. This is as close to what I imagine a sitting in a pub in the early 1960s was like. Maybe it was never like this, who knows (well, someone who was there obvs) but fake nostalgia can be very comforting in these troubled times. The Palm Tree is EASILY in my top 5 pubs of all time. I’m planning a definitive post on the top 5 pubs of all time later in the year so stay tuned. 

I am aware that occasionally I write these gushing fanboy reviews of places I obviously adore and know well and it’s hardly a review as such, but I started this blog as a way to share some of the amazing places where I like to spend my time and money. There’s nothing wrong with writing the occasional love-letter. Don’t worry, I’ll be back reviewing the same painfully hip, blogged-to-death Soho joints soon enough. 

10/10

The Palm Tree
127 Grove Rd
London
E3 5BH
020 8980 2918

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Moolis, Frith St, Soho

I’ve been meaning to write a post about Moolis for a while now. I’ve had takeaway from there numerous times but never actually sat down and ate in there (I usually go for the excellent goat wrap. That’s right - GOAT WRAP! Not many places can boast a goat wrap on the menu). I received an email from Moolis PR asking if anyone wanted to review it and I gamely volunteered, so bear in mind that I didn’t actually pay for anything on this visit. 

First of all, Moolis is very much a fast-food establishment. It’s not a place to linger with a drink (though they are fully licensed) and you get up and order at the counter. Having said that, it’s a pleasant enough place with lots of amusing artwork and slogans painted on the walls. “THIS IS NOT A F*CKING BURRITO” shouts one particularly angry slogan. Alright, mate. Calm down. I also noticed they were playing pseudo-ethnic Britpop also-rans Kula Shaker on the stereo as I walked in. I sincerely hope they were taking the piss. On the plus side I noticed they have jugs of free tap water on a shelf at the side. Always good to have free water. 

The concept here is ‘Indian street food’ with a Western twist. The incredibly friendly manager served up a selection of mini Mooli wraps for me to try and a portion of the superb Aloo Papri Chaat, a pot of tangy yogurt, chickpeas chickpea flour bread and potatoes, liberally peppered with pomegranate seeds. It’s a great dish, fresh tasting with a lovely crunch from the bread. Highly recommended. 

On to the wraps - they are all served in a delicious fresh roti bread which has a slight (is this even a word) ‘cakey’ texture. First I munched my way through slow-cooked pork and pomegranate salsa. This is quite spicy, very flavoursome and rather rich with a tang of sweetness from the pomegranate. I have had this before and found it to be a little too rich but this one was a nice balance, not sure if they’ve changed the recipe maybe or perhaps they were having an off day on my previous visit. 

Beef, coconut and yogurt - again, this is slow cooked, rich and moist with some good crunch coming from the salad and onion. This is the one you’d probably most compare to a F*CKING BURRITO, but it’s much, much lighter that a F*CKING BURRITO and doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve just eaten a house brick. 

Chickpeas - nice level of spice but I found it quite heavy and a little too rich tasting. However the quality of the ingredients shone through on this one as it isn’t dominated by the slow-cooked meat of the previous two. Interesting tamarind flavour. 

Chicken - A good ‘bite’ on this one due to the lentils and a subtle curry flavour (along the lines of coronation chicken). Pickled turnip throws in a bit of a curveball but it works. This is the one I’d most have for lunch during the working week. 

So yeah, overall Moolis is great. If you need to grab a quick bite before heading out, or fancy some lunch that is a little more interesting than a sandwich, wrap or the ubiquitous F*CKING BURRITO then Moolis is hard to beat. I’d recommend the pork or the beef from the ones I tried on this visit (and the goat wrap is totally awesome though not reviewed here). For 8 quid you can get a tasty wrap made with decent, fresh ingredients and a cold beer. Yes, you won’t want to hang around but that’s not really the point of the place. I’m not going to give a score as this one was a freebie but I obviously like it and I’m sure you will too. Unless you REALLY hate Kula Shaker. 

Moolis
50 Frith St
London
W1 DSQ
020 7494 9075

http://www.moolis.com/

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Scandinavian Kitchen, Gt. Titchfield St, London

There’s something inherently 1970s about Scandinavia. Fondue, Abba, wooden panelling, chunky jumpers and the smorgasbord to name but a few retro-tinged Scandi-trends. 

Scandinavian Kitchen isn’t overtly 1970s inside (though they are playing Abba) but the food on offer is what I imagine to be the best 1970s-style smorgasbord buffet ever. Part cafe, part coffee shop and part kitch grocery shop, SK serves up lunchtime Scandi sandwiches to the hungry denizens north of Oxford Street (not bleedin’ NOHO. Are we in New York City? No, we most certainly are not). 

It works thus: you rock up, go to the counter, choose 3 or 5 pieces of salad or open-faced sandwiches (4.95 and 7.95 respectively), pay, then sit down and eat whilst marvelling at the garish packaging of the multitude of Scandinavian foodstuffs for sale at the back of the room. 

I went for 3 open-faced Scandwiches. Prawn and egg, meatball and beetroot, roast beef. Prawn and egg was classic 1970s buffet fayre done extremely well with mayo as good as you will find. The slice of roast beef was served rare with a crunchy salad, a strong beef sandwich. My favourite was the meatballs with beetroot. Lovely bouncy meatballs with a spot-on beetroot mayo. The rye bread all three were served on was excellent with a nice bite.

All-in-all a fresh, satisfying lunch for a very good price (lunch for 2 with drinks was 12 quid) in a visually entertaining environment. Pretty unique too in an area populated by mediocre chicken avocado mix-type sandwich shops. Plus, they made the cutlery holders out of LEGO! This alone makes Scandi Kitchen worthy of a high mark.

Great spot for lunch during the working week but I plan to go back on a weekend to try the brunch menu and buy some herring flavoured popcorn (DISCLAIMER - I don’t actually know if this exists). Hard to fault the place really, can’t think of anything I didn’t like about it. 

9/10

Scandinavian Kitchen
61 Gt. Titchfield St
London
W1W 7PP
020 7580 7161

http://www.scandikitchen.co.uk/

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Big Apple Hot Dogs, Old St, London

I’ve just had a remarkable hot dog. I’m working Eastside today, way out of my West End comfort zone. I was walking down the roundabout end of Old Street, pondering the limited lunch options. I was also pondering how somewhere that combines the desolation of an industrial estate, the architecture of a council estate and a population seemingly comprised of tramps, scallies and 20 somethings dressed as 1940s pensioners became a destination night out and media powerhouse. And why is every third person riding a fluro pink bike with plastic wheels and dangerously short handlebars? 

Anyway, as I was stood outside ‘FCKF’ (FRIED - CHICKEN - KEBABS - FISH) wondering if this is what it had come to I remembered hearing about a hot dog stand that is reportedly serving a very high quality wiener. I looked it up on my phone and it was just down the road. 

I arrived there and the guy manning the stand was in the process of being hassled for money by a local. Once he’d paid the panhandler off with a hot dog bun (freshly baked by a local bakery) I ordered a Big Dog. There’s a choice of four dogs between 2.50-3.50, and he does pork, beef or pork AND beef sausages, each with 90% meat content.

The guy who runs the stand was very friendly, apologising about the crazy guy holding the queue up, presented me with a huge, delicious-looking hot dog and pointed me towards a vast array of accompanying sauces. To my immense delight he had a massive bottle of German currywurst ketchup so I smothered it in that. 

I was going to wait until I could find a nice place to sit to before attacking my dog but this being Old St there aren’t any nice places to sit so just guzzled it down in the street, taking in the vista of Old St Roundabout. I was a bit heavy-handed on the currywurst sauce and ended up with it all over my face, but people are always walking about round there with crap all over their faces so I blended in.

The dog itself was indeed delicious. A good size, but not so big you’d struggle to eat it, a lovely bit of ‘pop’ when you bite it, well seasoned high quality meat and an incredibly light white bun. Sweet grilled onions at the bottom of the bun finished things off nicely. 

So yeah, really good US-style hot dogs from a dude with a stand by the side of the road. Bargain prices! I think he shuts up shop around 6pm so strictly a lunch option for now, but this being 2011 you can follow him on Twitter to keep track of his plans. If I had to make one suggestion to Big Apple Hot Dogs however - MOVE TO SOHO! 

8/10

Big Apple Hot Dogs
Outside 239 Old St
London E1
07989 387441

http://www.bigapplehotdogs.com/

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