Smoak, Malmaison Hotel, Piccadilly, Manchester

A brief review to see in the first month of the year. Going to do a navel-gazing ‘1 year of MBFBY?’ post next month, and there’s a reviewing vist of Young Turks at the Ten Bells in the pipeline. I might even review Pitt Cue Co using only haikus if I can actually get a table. In the meantime another visit to Manc and another restaurant checked out…

Smoak. SUCH a Manchester name. ‘One word, spelt wrong’ is the motto of Manchester’s hospitality industry when it comes to naming venues. Nonetheless, I’d been hearing good things so in need of a quick lunch I popped to Smoak on a windy Sunday afternoon before getting the late afternoon train back to the actual Smoke. 

It’s certainly a ‘concept’. The huge interior is tastefully decorated in unfinished wood and faux vintage which you can see being easy to roll out across the Malmaison chain. The theme is AMERICAN MEAT. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly nice place with some nice touches but it still feels like a hotel restaurant (which it is, to be fair).

It was very quiet on our visit (2pm on a Sunday in January so not a surprise). They could maybe lose the SCREAMIN’ USA COUNTRY ROCK. How about some light banjo instead?

Staff were attentive helpful and efficient, though there were only about 3 other customers so it wasn’t exactly challenging conditions. 

Onto the food - I had a couple of oysters to start. They were lovely - fresh, huge and looking very appealing served in a metal dish of ice with shallot vinegar and bottle of Tabasco alongside. 

The main event involved a full rack of ribs. Again, this was attractively presented, the ribs removed from the rack and piled in a metal bucket, the sides in mini copper pans. clichéd? Yes. I like clichés sometimes. Extra points for having hot water in the finger bowl.

The ribs were delicious. I liked the fact that the weren’t served on the rack. Less hassle. They were very tender and moist, falling off the bone, glazed with filthy, spicey BBQ sauce. A bit of coleslaw on the side and some yoghurst finished it off nicely. The parmesan chips were excellent too, crispy, skin-on with a home-cooked flavour. 

RE: The chips - they have 5 different types of chips. ‘Classic’, ‘Garlic’, ‘Parmesan’, ‘Paprika’ and ‘Chilli’. My dad, (who I was dining with) couldn’t get his head around this. 

“There’s too much choice, son! Parmesan? Chips? They must be out of their minds.”

I’m inclined to agree with him here, it just adds an extra layer of choice on an already long-winded menu. Everything we ordered necessitated a question back to us from the waitress. At least it’s authentically American I suppose. When I was in the States a few weeks ago you couldn’t order anything without having to answer a stream of questions.

“And what would you like on that, sir? Bacon? Steak? Pancakes? Turkey wings? And would you like the whole lot deep fried? Sides? We got hash browns, corn bread, fat fries, fatter fries, fattest fries, onion rings, chilli bowl, 10 pieces of fried chicken?

JUST GIMMIE THE BLOODY BURGER, ALRIGHT?

Anyway, the cooking at Smoak is top notch, and the ingredients are superb quality. It’s a great place for lunch/brunch and it’s within eyeshot of Piccadilly station. Prices are good. The menu needs some pruning and the atmosphere is a little sterile, but overall I’d say it’s a good addition to Manchester’s somewhat underwhelming dining scene. 

7/10

Smoak
Malmaison Hotel
Manchester
M1 1LZ

0161 278 100

http://www.smoak-grill.com/

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The Mark Addy, Salford

I was really looking forward to my trip to the Mark Addy. As a northerner, few things are more inviting that a pub with plenty of local ales on tap plus a menu with 2 different tripe dishes and a liberal use of bone marrow. It doesn’t look like much from the outside. The plexiglass-covered staircase entrance is reminiscent of a 1970s discotheque, I can imagine DCI Gene Hunt screaming into some hapless extra’s face then throwing them down the stairs. Once you descend into the bar proper it’s a cosy but expansive space with some lovely vaulted arches and large windows overlooking the River Irwell. 

Chef Robert Owen Brown is bezzie mates with St John blood & gut-monger Fergus Henderson apparently (you’d guess that with the most cursory glance at the menu featuring all manner of offally good dishes) but Brown seems to have a particular love of fish. There’s two menus, an extensive permanent menu and an extra menu which is almost too big to be a specials menu (there were 7 dishes on there, I’ve been to gastropubs with shorter main menus). That’s not a bad thing, not everywhere needs boring, pared down Ramsey’s fucking Kitchen Nightmare-style 3 starter, 4 mains-type menu. The waitress said ‘that’s because he likes to experiment.’ Fair dos, Bob, fair dos. 

Speaking of the staff they were all good humoured, friendly and attentive. Even my initial email was responded to within the hour and involved the word ‘fantastic’. Our table was made ready even though we were half an hour early and all questions about the menu were answered knowledgeably. Well done, guys. 

Onto the food. I managed to try bits of most peoples dishes as I was dining with my wife and my mum and dad (HELLO!!!) so usual etiquette didn’t apply. Because of this, and the fact that we were tucked away in a little booth I decide to use my posh DSLR camera rather than the usual sneaky iPhone pictures as it wound’t be too intrusive. To start I ordered hot buttered buckling with horseradish cream. This delicious little pile of fishy goodness was expertly cooked and fell apart in my mouth. Great kick from the horseradish cream and a little crunch from the toasted bread, this is an absolutely classic starter. 

I also tried Dad’s pickled tripe. This was amazing. Wonderful texture and a taught zingy flavour from the vinegar. The natural qualities of the tripe are allowed to shine through, this dish doesn’t need anything else. It’s a great palate cleanser, too. 

Mrs MBFBY? and my darling mother shared the Mark Addy’s Famous Paté™. I’m not sure what the paté had done to achieve this fame, maybe it’s earlier work was better. When I tried it the paté it must have let the fame go to its head and and began resting on it’s laurels, releasing albums of pedestrian tracks about how it’s sports car broke down or how it’s thinking of leaving the country because of the 50p tax rate. It was mediocre at best. I’ve had better paté from the supermarket. It was quite bland, lacking in texture and that’s all you can say about it really. Shame. 

Mains - I went for dogfish with bone marrow barley. A visually impressive dish, the bone marrow barley was excellent. Tender bits of barley swimming in lovely rich bone marrow, served inside massive chunks of bone. On top were large, meaty pieces of dogfish (a sort of shark type thing), though these were a little overcooked and had been seasoned with a heavy hand. 

I tried Mum’s fish stew with Pernod and found this to be warming and flavoursome but became distracted by the hilarious array of comedy props accompanying the other two dishes. Mrs MBFBY?’s pigeon with claret and black pudding came with a bunch of salad in a shotgun shell, very apt as we dined on the Glorious 12th. Unfortunalty her pigeon was undercooked and a bit too bloody. The black pudding was delicious though. 

Now, I like comedy props as much as the next fellow but the items accompanying the crab that my father ordered were very daft indeed. A wooden board of full-on DIY tools (pliers, hammer) was brought over and placed next to the delicious looking part-dressed crab. Not only is this totally OTT, but it took up loads of space on the table too. The Mark Addy doesn’t need this sort of gimmick, the sort of thing you’d expect to see in a low-end American theme restaurant, probably one with the word ‘shack’ in it’s title. I didn’t get to taste the crab as dad went mental at it with the tools and demolished the lot but he assures me it was “very good, son”.

The portions at the Mark Addy are substantial to say the least, the selection of desserts small and there was nothing jumping out at me so we got the bill. It was a very reasonable £122.75 plus service  for 4 people including drinks. The Mark Addy is a charming, quirky space, the staff are brilliant and the menu unique and surprising. It’s a shame about the inconstancies in the cooking, especially the paté. Maybe the paté chef was having an off-day. I’d be interested to hear other people’s experiences of the ‘famous’ Mark Addy paté. If you’re going to use the word ‘famous’ on your menu then you have to make sure it’s going to blow your freakin’ mind. However, the good stuff was really, really good and it’s not every day you find somewhere doing this type of cooking, especially at such reasonable prices. The wine list is extensive and well priced, and the ale I had was in perfect nick. Overall I’d give the Mark Addy a single thumb’s up. 

7/10

The Mark Addy
Stanley St
Salford
M3 5EJ
0161 832 4080

http://markaddy.co.uk/

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